Lifetime INTIMATE PROTRAIT Presents…PLUTO!
by TFulghum
Summary: What happens when Pluto isn't considered a Planet. Lifetime gives you the unedited version of what Setsuna Meioh's reaction is. Chapter 3 is now up!
1. Chapter 1

**_Lifetime _INTIMATE PROTRAIT Presents…**

**PLUTO!**

**This is her story**

_**Chapter One: Setsuna and Rei.**_

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sailor Moon characters. I just love to play games with them. Enjoy. R&R.

**Sailor Pluto's age is unknown, as well as her birth year. We do know, however, that she was born on October 29th. Sailor Pluto, also known as Setsuna Meioh, has been a Sailor Senshi and a member of the Solar System. But now, since she isn't considered a planet anymore, she will tell us her thoughts and feelings about the past month's actions.**

I was appalled. I mean I have been a senshi for a couple millennia now, and counting! I know that ever since this whole "You're not a planet thing" occurred and I lost my henshin powers, it has been one thing after another. The only good that comes out of this is that it just proves that without me, the other senshi are USELESS. **Laughs**.

I mean this whole dilemma totally throws off history. And I mean the producers of the show spent like SIX…yes SIX episodes just about what would happen because of Neherenia captivating Mamoru, and everyone jumped to the rescue. I lose my rights as a planet and my senshi powers and everyone thinks it's just a Bradgelina rumor being spread by the tabloids.

**REI**

I don't see what Setsuna-san's problem is. I mean…she is now free from her senshi duties. She should really stop complaining I mean she is just bitching for no good reason.

**Setsuna**

What does she mean that I am 'bitching'? I mean, I think she would start complaining if all of a sudden her powers just stopped working. All I can say to her though is…"YOUR MONTHLY FRIEND IS ON ITS WAY!"

**REI**

Grow up.

**Setsuna**

I mean I am such a better sailor senshi than her. I mean I died WAY after she did when we faced off against Galaxia. But then again I was betrayed by Uranus and Neptune. Maybe it was a foreshadowing sign that I was losing my powers.

I don't know. But I do know that if I don't get my powers back soon I am shredding my contract with Ms. Takeuchi and BANDAI and whoever else.

And with this whole loss of powers Crystal Tokyo isn't the same. Or what if it's better. Oh no! I NEED MY POWERS BACK!

I was the best senshi, the others couldn't come anywhere near my lucrative accomplishments. They were just little high school girls.

**REI**

And you were an old hag.

**SETSUNA**

HOLD ME BACK! I am going to hit her with my time staff…oh wait. I CAN'T! Because I am not a planet anymore. GARRRGHHH!

This is utterly ridiculous.

Do you know how arduous it is to go on with life without your senshi powers after having them for so long?

Oh you probably don't…because you're not a planet either!

And don't get me started on Sailor Moon! She wasn't even a friggon planet. SHE WAS A SATELLITE! THE MUTINY! I could so kick her moon-prism-power-ass any day, anytime. She can twirl her magic buttons all she wants…and when she least expects it **BAM**. I am going to jump her. It frustrates me. She is a SATELLITE and yet SHE IS STILL STRONGER THAN ME! It is ridiculous.

All I know is that those astronomers need to reconfigure their calculations and rectify their mistakes. This whole altercation is making me very irate.

**Now as we head into a commercial break, we will give a preview of what's to happen next…**

**USAGI**

I don't see what HER problem is. She just wants attention. She's jealous that I'm the future queen and she isn't. She's such a-such a…CRYBABY.

**Setsuna**

At least I don't have to get naked every time some evil villain comes to wipe us off of the face of the Earth.

**Usagi**

At least I still have my powers.

**SETSUNA**

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!

**Please return to our Intimate Portrait, Pluto.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Lifetime INTIMATE PROTRAIT Presents… **

**PLUTO! **

**This is her story **

**Chapter Two: Setsuna and Usagi. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sailor Moon characters. I just love to play games with them. Enjoy. R&R. **

**_Sailor Pluto's age is unknown, as well as her birth year. We do know, however, that she was born on October 29th. Sailor Pluto, also known as Setsuna Meioh, has been a Sailor Senshi and a member of the Solar System. But now, since she isn't considered a planet anymore, she will tell us her thoughts and feelings about the past month's actions. _**

**USAGI **

I don't see what HER problem is. She just wants attention. She's jealous that I'm the future queen and she isn't. She's such a-such a…CRYBABY.

**Setsuna **

At least I don't have to get naked every time some evil villain comes to wipe us off of the face of the Earth.

**Usagi **

At least I still have my powers.

**SETSUNA **

OH NO SHE DIDN'T! I'm gonna need my agent to me hold me back from

knocking this bitch out! She thinks that just because her _mommy _was able to defeat evil by sealing them in some hideous JB Robinson diamond means that she is the "Shiznit"! I mean come on…she's friggon 16…I'm…well…I do not feel comfortable sharing my age.

**USAGI **

She's eighty-five. **Laughs…then smiles **

**Setsuna **

This girl better hope that I don't go into the fast food industry. Whispers I mean as much as she goes to eat…I'm surprised the rest of the world hasn't ordered her to stop eating so that the rest of us can have our fair share… Speaks Louder I mean come on…she looks bigger than Kirstie Alley…except Kirstie lost SEVENTY-FIVE!

**Usagi **

She's just jealous that I have the legs of a sixteen-year-old-girl. She's jealous because I CAN EAT WITHOUT HAVING THE STABBING THOUGHT OF THE FOOD GOING STRAIGHT TO MY HIPS. She's jealous that I AM SIXTEEN!

**Setsuna **

And yet you notice that she is acting her shoe size. And not her age. **Laughs ** What are you Usagi-san? A NEGATIVE TWO AND A HALF? **Laughs** You know what they say about girls with small feet…well, in all honesty they really don't say anything…Oh wait…I say things. It means that they have a small chest size.

I mean did any of you anime viewers noticed that when Moon-brat-I-have-Solar-Planet-Powers-even-though-I'm-just-a-satellite henshins there are NO lines WHATSOEVER indicating that Usagi's breasts even exist?

**Usagi **

**Cries **That's not nice…it's not nice to make fun of a girl's chest size. It really isn't** Cries. **

**Setsuna **

You also notice that in almost every single BIG BATTLE she loses Mamoru because he gets killed off or seduced. That just proves that she can't keep her man.

**Usagi **

At least I have one.

**Setsuna **

What was that? **Growls** Stay Calm…I don't need a man to complete me. I am my own person. I don't need some sniveling-mommy-loving-penis-owning-can't-take-even-two-seconds-away-from-his-football-game-fragile-meaning-precious-owning-ego-that-can't-ever-be-shattered-man!

I mean come on! How many old hags has Mamoru fell for since he started going out with Usagi? Let's see. Counts on fingers There's Queen Beryl, Queen Metallia…technically, That freaky chick with the tree, HIS OWN **BLEEP**ing DAUGHTER, some other freakazoids, and the narcissist who lived in her mirror! I mean that is VERY unhealthy. For all we know he could be off with some new bimbo right as we speak!

**Usagi **

That is so mean! I can't believe you would ever say that! Mamoru would never-** Pulls out cell phone, Dials Mamoru's Number. **Hello? Hi Mamo-chan! What are you up to? Setsuna said one of the most craziest things! Wait…who's that in the background…why are you moaning…why is there people in the background saying things like, "Give it to me! Harder, harder!"?** Drops phone… Cries **

**Setsuna **

Told you so….

**Usagi **

**Cries **

**_Now as we head into our commercial break we will give you all of the joint conversation between Setsuna, Ami, Haruka, and Michiru. _**

****

Setsuna 

****

This whole, "You're not a planet thing is totally unfair!"

**Ami, Haruka, and Michiru **

We know. We totally back you up 100!

**Setsuna **

YES! I love you guys!

**_Now, as we REALLY head into our commercial break we will give you a preview of what's to come. _**

****

**Minako **

I mean come on…so you lost your powers. Big deal! It means you ACTUALLY GET A NORMAL LIFE.

**Setsuna **

But being a Sailor Senshi is all that I had…It was everything to me.

**Minako **

Oh just shut the** BLEEP **up. Stop being such a wanker.

**Setsuna **

For one…YOU HOOKER! For two…since when did you start using British terms?

**Minako **

Oh, well before I debuted as Sailor Venus…back when it was just Sailor V I fought evil by moonlight and won love by daylight in England.

**Setsuna **

Ah…well I still think you're a hooker.

**Please return to our Intimate Portrait, Pluto.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Lifetime INTIMATE PROTRAIT Presents…**

**PLUTO!**

**This is her story**

**Chapter Three: Setsuna and Minako.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sailor Moon characters. I just love to play games with them. Enjoy. R&R.**

_**Sailor Pluto's age is unknown, as well as her birth year. We do know, however, that she was born on October 29th. Sailor Pluto, also known as Setsuna Meioh, has been a Sailor Senshi and a member of the Solar System. But now, since she isn't considered a planet anymore, she will tell us her thoughts and feelings about the past month's actions.**_

**Setsuna**

I am soooooooo sad. I lost my powers. Just because "I'm not a planet".

**Minako**

I mean come on…so you lost your powers. Big deal! It means you ACTUALLY GET A NORMAL LIFE.

**Setsuna**

But being a Sailor Senshi is all that I had…it was everything to me.

**Minako**

Oh just shut the** BLEEP **up. Stop being such a wanker.

**Setsuna**

For one…YOU HOOKER! For two…since when did you start using British terms?

**Minako**

Oh, well before I debuted as Sailor Venus…back when it was just Sailor V I fought evil by moonlight and won love by daylight in England.

**Setsuna**

Ah…well I still think you're a hooker.

Minako 

You **BLEEP**ing bitch! Hear I am trying to be sympathetic with you and you start calling me a hooker!

**Setsuna**

I don't see how this surprises you. I mean come on. You put Blanche off of _The Golden Girls_ to shame. In ONE EPISODE alone you were dating three guys.

**Minako**

THEY WERE CUTE!

**Setsuna**

What the **BLEEP**? Cute? Are you **BLEEP**ing insane? I mean come on! One of them had more hair then Usagi-chan and Rei-chan put together. The second one dressed as if he was the gay one off of the new _Lifetime_ Reality TV _Show Gay, Straight, or Taken._ And the third…well, let's just say…nobody has seen him since.

**Minako**

**WHISPER** Only because he said that I was flat chested. **WHISPER **I don't know what ever happened to him…Hey look a piece of paper is floating over to me. **PICKS UP PAPER** "LOCAL PIMP DADDY FOUND DEAD STUFFED INSIDE HIGHSCHOOL STUDENT AINO MINAKO'S LOCKER!" **Puts on sunglasses.** You didn't see me, speak to me, or hear of me. EVER! **RUNS OFF**

**Setsuna**

What'd I say? She IS a hooker! Wait what? A PIMP DADDY! Goldie locks would've been better.

**Minako**

You're just jealous!

**Setsuna**

ME? Jealous? Of who? **Laughs** Oh, you mean you? HAHAHAHA! Yea right. Thank you but I am glad that I don't have ever disease in the book because of sleeping around.

**Minako**

I don't sleep around. I'm still a virgin.

**Setsuna**

In what religion? Honey, no matter what you do…if it involves naked bodies and either one of your breasts, **BLEEP**es, asses, ears, or anything else **COUGH** Anything that OB-GYNs check! **COUGH** then that pretty much relinquishes your right to call yourself a virgin!

**Minako**

**GASP** LIES! ALL LIES!

**Setsuna**

Not really. Do we have to go on a talk show to prove this to you? I mean there are all sorts of openings. Oprah, Ricki Lake, Maury, Haraldo, Sally, Tyra, and Hell even Megan Mullally wants to broadcast your story.

**Minako**

Really? That would mean that there would probably also involve some really cute guys involved.

**Setsuna**

You are such a slut. I swear, with your record of how many guys you have slept with…you could put even ALL of the adulterers and sex-craved loonies off of _Desperate Housewives to_ shame!

Minako 

Hell, the redhead is like five times my age and I've seen more **BLEEP** than her.

**Setsuna**

What's sad is that you are taking joy out of this! And when did this session become all about you? This is supposed to be ABOUT ME! I mean AGAIN I AM NOT A PLANET!

**Minako**

Hey Setsuna…I AM A PLANET **LAUGHS**!

**Setsuna**

When you see a pillow floating above your head before you go to sleep about to smother you don't come pointing figures at me. **Hides pillow**

_**Now, as we head into our commercial break we will give you a preview of what's to come.**_

**EEK!!! We are so terribly sorry to announce that we are not entirely finished filming the footage of what's next. So you loyal viewers will just have to wait.**

**Please return to our Intimate Portrait, Pluto.**


End file.
